Alfred and the Burger
by HetariaFanatic
Summary: Arthur had been trying to make Alfred change his eating habits for years. When Arthur finally convinces him that the change is better for his health, he finds out that Alfred already has numerous health issues and is furious. RATED T FOR VIOLENCE AND SWEARING! USUK!
1. Chapter 1

**Herro fellow readers! Please enjoy this one-shot I felt like writing randomly. Maybe -if requested by enough reviewers- I'll write a few more chapters. **

**Disclaimer- I don't own Hetalia or Alfred (unfortunately)**

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Alfred F. Jones was laying on a couch in his home, all alone. He sighed as he raised a double big mac above his face and stared at it. He was very tempted to take and savour a beautiful bite of the gorgeous and tasteful burger, but a sudden banging at the front door startled him and made him react quickly by throwing his burger to the side.

"The door's open!" He yelled in an attempt to stay on the couch.

The door creaked open, followed by it being closed as a man walked through the doorway and entered Alfred's household. Alfred wasn't very curious as to who was at the door, so he continued to rest up. The house guest wandered throughout the home until he had come across Alfred laying on the couch.

"You shouldn't be leaving your front door open, you ass hat."

Alfred widened his eyes at the British man standing nearby. He thought he was busy in England for a business trip for the next week.

"What brings you to America, Arthur?"

"We just wanted to stop by, _mon ami._"

Francis appeared from behind Arthur and twirled around. He gave out his _annoying_ french laugh and continued to spin wildly.

"Dude, could you stop doing that? You might break something."

Francis frowned before he took a seat on the other couch. Arthur slowly crouched down next to Alfred and gave a sad smile.

"So, how are you doing?" He asked with a heavy british accent.

"This diet sucks ass, yo!" Alfred wined while Arthur stood up and grabbed his attention.

"Well, it's for the better and it's not a diet, it's a life style choice."

The man on the couch sighed before sitting up. He was stressed out, hungry, and he really missed the meaty, juicy flavour of those beefy burgers he used to eat daily.

"How much longer do I have to go through with this, man?"

"For the rest of your life, you twit!"

Alfred gasped at the statement Arthur had just yelled. He was completely unaware he had to go through with this 'life style choice' for the rest of his life. He honestly thought he would get to stop in another week or two

"WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME, DUDE?! I'VE ALREADY BEEN DOING THIS FOR TWO WEEKS!"

"Apparently you don't understand the meaning of _life _style choice."

The blue eyed _dude _stood up and gazed into the green eyed one in front of him. He painted a long frown on his face and pointed his eyebrows downward. Arthur slowly began to feel for Alfred, but then Alfred started to flail his arms wildly and continued wining.

"I WANT TO EAT BURGERS!"

"Would you quit acting like a child?"

"Yeah, Alfred, don't you want to become sexy like, _moi?_"

Alfred paused his actions and thought about the consequences momentarily. The rush of ideas and dreams overwhelmed him as he sat back down onto the couch. He held his face with his hand and began to silently sob. Arthur knelt over and placed his hand on Alfred's shoulder.

"Are you sure you can handle continuing with this?" Arthur questioned softly. Alfred lifted his face from his hand and stared at Arthur with a smirk. He instantly punched Arthur, square in the face and leaped towards the double big mac he threw away several minutes earlier. The british man lay on the ground, holding his face in pain as the french man jumped towards Alfred.

"YOU DUMBASS, GET OFF OF ME!" Alfred shouted as he grabbed the meaty sandwich off the carpet and took a large bite.

"NO! YOU HURT ARTHUR AND NOW YOU'RE RUINING YOUR LIFE! DO YOU NOT RESPECT YOURSELF, ALFRED?!" Francis yelled in Alfred's face before smacking him so hard the chewed-up burger from his mouth flew out.

The echo of the slap echoed throughout Alfred's large home. The pair stopped what they were doing and stayed in the positions they were in. Alfred widened his blue eyes at Francis as the slight sound of a door knob being turned was sounded, but it was disregarded.

"You're right, I shouldn't be doing this after all of my heroic hard work."

Alfred pushed Francis off of him and stood up. He sighed once more before walking over to Arthur. Alfred extended out his arm to help out the bloody, british mess on the floor. Arthur took it gladly and stood up.

"Sorry man, I should have, like, totally listened to you." Alfred apologised and wiped the blood from Arthur's hand on his pants.

"Damn right, you bloody git!"

"Here, I'll go get a rag."

Alfred slowly and discreetly walked from the room until he was stopped.

"You _are _going to come back, _non_?" Francis asked as Alfred rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Totally dude! I'll be back in a sec, for sure- SUCKERS!"

Alfred full out bolted through the narrow hallway, only to be quickly chased and tackled down by Francis and Arthur.

"You really thought we would let you get away, you arse?!"

Many kicks and punches were thrown out against each other as the three tossed and turned. At first, it was two against one, but then Arthur and Francis began fighting each other and continued their century long feud, so it became a free-for-all.

"W-What are you guys doing?" Somebody whispered so quietly that only Alfred noticed.

"Did you dudes hear that?" He asked as he let go of Arthur's hair.

"No, what are you talking about?" Arthur answered as he let go of Francis' hair.

"You guys must be delusional." Francis sung out as he let go of Alfred's hair to comb down his own.

"I-I'm not surprised, but you three should really look at yourselves right now."

Alfred rotated his head around the hallway until he found Mathew, standing at the very end of it. He was holding his bear, Kumajiro, and looked slightly frustrated, but Alfred didn't notice his facial expression. Alfred walked over to him and stared at his bear strangely.

"Hey, Mathew, when did you get here?" Alfred pondered as purple eyed man's face grew to a deep shade of red.

"I came in with Francis and Arthur!" Mathew stammered softly. Although Mathew was very angry and agitated with Alfred; he still had no clue because he was completely oblivious to his maple-loving brother's feelings.

"What have you been doing this whole time, man?!"

Mathew took a deep breath and tried to calm down before taking out all his anger on Alfred and ending up full-out raging. All of his built up frustrations and annoyance couldn't stay inside him any longer, so he had to let it out. Mathew had been planning exactly what to say when the day came and now he was ready. He opened his mouth and was ready to begin yelling, only to find Alfred speaking with Arthur.

"Dude, I'm totally starved! Let's go out and get something to eat!"

"You bloody twit, do you even remember why this fight began?"

"Well, what else can we eat?!"

"I could whip up some-"

"I COULD MAKE US ALL LUNCH!" Francis shouted to prevent Arthur from any further thoughts and actions, only to result in a bewildered Arthur.

"It's fine, I'd rather cook something then eat your tasteless food, you frog."

"_Non_, I will make lunch and THAT'S THAT!"

The French man stormed off towards the kitchen, followed by an angered Brit. Alfred, who would legitimately eat a cow at the time, stayed close behind the two and complained that Arthur's food 'sucks ass'. The group completely forgot about their appearance from fighting, so it -for various reasons- was a good thing that they decided _not_ to eat out.

Mathew was left all alone once again. All of his built up rage settled down within him. His pet polar bear suddenly looked up at him and asked, "Who are you?"

"I'm- oh forget it, Kuma."

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**I hope you guys like this possible introduction chapter. I have this all planned out if this story is continued. R&R if you care, please and thank you. *bows slighty in a respectful way with Japan's theme playing in the backround***

**I will now run away. **

***runs away dramatically and trips over thin air***

**Oops.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Upon request, I am continuing this story! *awaits applause only to be disappointed* **

**Fine. Hmph! *pouts***

**Disclaimer- I don't own Hetalia, but I am a Hetalian! (aka, a Hetalia fan)**

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The three buddies bickered their ways towards the kitchen. Most of the bickering was from Arthur and Francis, but Alfred joined in because he was bored and had nothing better to do. As soon as the two arrived in the kitchen, Arthur and Francis ran to the cabinets and began pulling out pots and pans that were required.

"What are you guys doing?" Alfred asked the pair who seemed to be fighting their way to the fridge.

"IM GOING TO COOK YOU LUNCH!" They both yelled in unison. Alfred was confused and slightly panicked from the thought of Arthur cooking in his home. That British man was known for not being able to cook a decent meal. It usually turned out bland, over seasoned, or vanished within the fire that usually occurred when Arthur forgot the pot on the stove and left to do something else like drink tea.

"A-Alright, as long as I get some yummy food, I'm totally alright with that!" Alfred piped happily. He didn't want to diminish ALL of Arthur's self-esteem, so he put on a large grin and took a seat at the long dining table in the dining room next door. He did that so he could eavesdrop without making it seem obvious.

"Hey, Alfie! Are you all out of milk?" Francis questioned from the kitchen as he rummaged through the fridge only to find bags of burgers, and, strangely, a drawer full of fresh veggies.

"If there ain't any in the fridge, then yes, dude!"

Francis sighed as he tried thinking up something else to beat the shit out of Arthur, who was speedily cooking something up on the stove top. From the green eyed man's point of view, it smelt flavourful and delicious. From the French man's point of view, it smelt strongly of spices, chicken, pickles, and spoiled cheese. Francis sympathised greatly for Alfred, the man soon to be buried six feet under, doomed from Arthur's cooking.

/

After about twenty minutes of feuding and cooking, Francis and Arthur pushed and shoved their ways towards Alfred, who was playing on his Playstation Vita. He looked up to find his friends bickering once more, but they immediately stopped when they heard Alfred's stomach grumble.

"Someone sure is hungry, _non?_"

Francis strut his way past Arthur and placed his dish in front of Alfred. He instantly took a strong whiff and inhaled the sweet aroma of whatever was in the plate that was placed in front of him. He took a fork out of his back ass pocket and dug into the lunch Francis had made for him.

"Woah, this is totally great!" Alfred exclaimed after placing the first piece into his mouth, but because of his usual eating habits; he didn't know how to savour it correctly. "What is this stuff called?"

"It's my families famous Sirloin Croquette recipe."

Alfred gladly stuck his fork into sirloin and lifted it into his mouth for another amazing taste, but Arthur wanted his glory moment too and pulled the fork away from Alfred. He picked up the dish and handed it to Francis.

"Take this disgusting shit and go back to France, you bloody frog!"

Francis frowned and seemed extremely offended by Arthur's recent remark.

"Here, get a taste of my latest and most delicious food!"

Arthur joyfully placed a rather large bowl in front of Alfred. At first it seemed perfectly fine and had a wonderful colour, but once he inhaled the fumes of what looked to be stew; he nearly fainted.

"Alright, I have 911 pre-dialed, you can start." Francis stated seriously, with a cell phone in hand. Arthur smacked the back of his head at full strength, resulting in Francis falling forwards.

Alfred hesitantly pulled a spoon from his other ass pocket and slowly placed it within the thick mixture. He reluctantly and shakily lifted it up to his mouth. The silence roaming freely inside Alfred's house was scaring him because it was his home, and it's usually loud.

"Before I taste this...stew, could I ask what's in it, dude?"

"Ace ingredients, you twit!"

The concoction reeked of pickles, chicken, cheese, cinnamon, tuna, and anchovies. It wasn't a very pleasant scent to be smelled. Alfred's life suddenly flashed before his eyes as pinched his nose and shoved the spoon in his mouth. Francis and Arthur leaned forward waiting for a response from the shocked Alfred. Francis wearily placed his thumb on top of the call button.

"How is it?" Arthur asked curiously, hoping it was better than that damned frog's food.

Alfred was instantly washed over with disgust, fears, nausea, and confusion. He dropped the spoon from his mouth and stood up. He hurriedly ran to the bathroom to throw up, only to be caught by his dizziness and fainting before even exiting the dining room.

"Alfred!" The couple shouted horrifically in perfect sync.

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A few minutes later, the group found themselves sitting in Alfred's bedroom. Arthur was pacing around the room while Francis placed Alfred in his bed.

"Did he wake up yet?" Arthur asked hurriedly.

"Of course not!" Francis answered rather quickly. "He ate your food on an empty stomach, it'll be at least a good couple of minutes before he would be feeling better."

"My food isn't that bad, you git!"

"Your evidence is right here."

Francis pointed at the helpless man laying tucked in bed, who seemed slightly pale, with a tint of green.

"I'm going to get a bucket for when he wakes up."

Francis gently closed the door behind him as Arthur slowly sat down next to Alfred. He brushed Alfred's hair out of his eyes and stared at his face.

"My food isn't that bad, is it?" He whispered softly with regret lingering in his voice.

"It really is."

Arthur cocked his head up and scanned the room for the culprit of the nasty comment. He didn't notice anyone, so he returned to looking at Alfred. He began rethinking the ingredients he put in the stew. He repeatedly thought, 'Half a cup of salt is normal, right?'

Alfred groaned lightly before he began stirring up. He opened his eyes and was startled from the brit sitting so closely to him.

"Woah dude, what's with the look on your face?" Alfred wondered out loud as Arthur realised he had plastered a frown upon his face. He wiped it away and replaced it with a soft smile.

Alfred threw his legs to the side of his king sized blue, red, and white bed and tried getting up.

"H-Hey! You should be resting!"

Alfred quickly stood up and grinned. "I'm fine!" Right after standing up, the American was stricken with dizziness once again, but this time it was accompanied by him grasping his chest in sheer pain and yelling in terror.

"What's going on-" Francis questioned as he strolled in through the door, but was cut off by Arthur.

"FRANCIS! GET YOUR DAMN BLOODY CELL PHONE!"

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**I cut it off at a bad part, but it'll just keep you guys mlre interested, **_**non? **_**Well, R&R if you want more chapters! I need motivation to continue writing!**

**By the way, who's excited for Hetalia: The Beautiful World?! It's on youtube right now, but there aren't any English subs. If anyone has links to the episode with subs, I'd gladly give you a shout out on the next chapter. Well, I just really want to see some sparkly men! Who wouldn't want to see that?**

**Ciao~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Herro again! I am quite disappointed from the lack of reviews I'm receiving. It makes me think you guys don't want more chapters...**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Hetalia!**

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Alfred had fallen unconscious before the paramedics had arrived, Francis stayed calm and tried to do emergency procedures on Alfred, and Arthur was panicking/yelling at Francis the whole time as he sat on the floor and watched him perform CPR. He felt as if _his _heart was the one being crushed from seeing Alfred in such pain. The ride in the ambulance was terrifying for the pair.

The British one couldn't help but think the glutton wouldn't make it through.

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The usually bickering couple were sitting in an entirely white waiting room with a few extra chairs surrounding them and a television in the corner of the room with the volume left on low. No one had spoken, smiled, or made a single sound ever since they entered the hospital.

"Arthur?" Francis asked, very worried for his beloved friend.

Arthur lifted his face from his palms and turned to the the French man sitting right next to him.

"What do you want, you bloody frog?" He spat out with a saddened look smeared all over his face.

"He's going to be fine."

Arthur knew he wasn't going to be 'fine'. He had been undergoing surgery for four hours already. Even if it did go well; he still wouldn't be the same Alfred he was before. Maybe he would take his eating problem more seriously, but it still hurt Arthur's heart to see him like that. Arthur didn't like the twit one bit, but they were friends and he couldn't help but worry.

Suddenly, a woman in a long white coat appeared through the doorway and approached Francis and Arthur. The both stood up to speak with who they assumed to be Alfred's doctor.

"You two came with Alfred, right?" The pair nodded before joy washed over them and filled them with relief. "He's going to be just fine. Right now Alfred is in recovery and is resting. We have given him the necessary medications and have steadied his heart rate."

"Thank goodness." Francis sighed as he fell back onto his chair in relief. There was a brief moment of silence before the lady opened her mouth again.

"Could I ask you two a favour?"

"Sure, anything." Arthur replied, slightly confused to why the doctor would need something.

"I've been telling Alfred to watch what he eats for years now. At this rate, his heart, liver problems, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure will worsen to great extents and he won't be able to last much longer by then because of the consequences. Could you make sure he lays off the fast food?"

Arthur was speechless from the doctors favour. Alfred had _that_ many health issues? He was shocked that he hadn't found out about it yet. Did Alfred not trust him well enough? Why was he still destroying his body if he knew he was this ill?! Arthur's head swirled with frustration and questions before he realised that he was still speaking with the doctor.

"I-I'll be sure to, doc."

The doctor threw a soft smile before heading back to her work. Before exiting the room the woman turned around and began to speak once more.

"Oh, I forgot to mention, you guys can visit him now."

Francis instantly stood up when that was mentioned. The couple was left alone in the room again, but Francis was still confused to why Arthur didn't sprint out of the room to see Alfred. He noticed that Arthur's many eyebrows were furrowed and a burning look of fury was noticeable within his eyes. The feelings of shock and rage were overwhelming him.

"Arthu-" Francis paused when Arthur gathered all of his senses and stormed out of the room. Arthur's fists were clenched as he raced down the cold hallways of the hospital. He was furious, saddened, disappointed, and most of all, terrified. He had no idea that Alfred was nearly killing himself all because he likes how unhealthy food tastes! What kind of reason was that to harm your body in such a way?!

"ARTHUR!" Francis yelled as he grabbed his shoulder.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

The angered voice echoed throughout the deserted hallway. It was quite strange that it was so empty, especially considering how busy hospitals usually are.

"Do you even know where you're going?"

Francis' soft and caring voice got through to Arthur and broke the barrier of anger. He calmed down a bit and took a deep breath before speaking again.

"N-No." He admitted to the long-haired blonde. Francis gave out a small, sympathetic laugh before he grabbed Arthur's wrist and began walking to reception to ask for directions.

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Upon arrival to Alfred's room, Francis and Arthur stood awkwardly and awaited approval to enter.

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_The receptionist had told them that the doctor had abruptly requested that no visitors were permitted to see Alfred until a quick check-up was finished. Although they were given instruction to wait a little, the couple advanced to Alfred's room anyway and ended up causing a ruckus when Francis noticed a young, attractive lady and felt the need to flirt with her. The event resulted with her screaming, Francis pleading for forgiveness, and Arthur backing away from the situation like he had no relations with Francis. Once security had arrived, they took Francis and Arthur and escourted them outside, but then they bumped into Alfred's doctor, who took responsibility for them and lead them back to Alfred's room. Arthur was forever embarrassed to say that he knew Francis._

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"Alright, you guys can enter now, but be quiet because he's resting." The doctor announced, giving a rough scowl before she walked away.

Arthur and Francis didn't know what to expect when they entered the room. They just braced themselves and quickly entered, but they did it quietly. After stepping into the large, white room, the twosome lightened the weight of their footsteps to produce less noise against the hard tiles of the hospital. The first thing they noticed was a large window that showed the rainy afternoon they were having that day. The second thing was a single bed, with a table next to it. On top of the bed lay a young man who seemed to be resting and was hooked up to a couple wires.

"Awh, look at mon ami sleeping-"

"Shh, don't be so loud."

Alfred slowly lifted one his eyelids and looked straight at the duo standing across from him. He was slightly confused to why they seemed so nervous, but Alfred couldn't even remember how he ended up in the uncoordinated room.

"Ello, Alfred." Arthur greeted softly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling totally better, dude." Alfred replied with a quiet and hoarse voice. "What happened?"

"You had a heart attack, but it's no problem now because the doctors fixed you up~!" Francis informed him energetically, resulting in a strange look to grow on Alfred's face in response.

"That explains why my chest hurts." Alfred muttered under his breath.

He flicked his eyes towards Arthur to find look upon his face he had never seen before. It seemed soft and gentle, but at the same time it screamed concern. Alfred wasn't entirely sure why the british man was showing those emotions, so he decided to question it.

"Dude, what's wrong with your face?"

Arthur quickly turned his gaze away from Alfred and scoffed. "There's nothing wrong with my face, you tart."

Alfred couldn't resist temptations to laugh. He let out a very loud, obnoxious laugh that most likely disturbed neighbouring patients.

"Could you quiet down?!" A grumpy, large man yelled as he pulled the curtain from between his and Alfred's bed to glare at the obnoxious man. Alfred quickly went silent and nodded.

"Sure, man."

"What makes you think you can speak to him that way?" Arthur spat out reluctantly.

"Excuse me?"

Arthur stepped closer to the angry man and gave him a fierce stare. "You heard what I said, you git."

Francis took action and laughed awkwardly before pulling Arthur back. "Sorry for his behaviour. He's British."

The man lying in bed nodded before getting comfortable and resting once more.

"What do you mean by that?!"

"Shhh, the man is already in a hospital."

"Which means that I can fight him with immediate help waiting!"

Alfred tried to contain his all of his laughter in his hand. The two bickering was just like watching tv and it was very entertaining to Alfred.

"What's so funny?" Arthur huffed.

"You guys are like an old married couple!"

Arthur instantly moved away from Francis and looked out the window. Francis came closer to Arthur and wrapped his arms around him.

"You don't like seeming like a couple, oui?"

Arthur immediately squirmed and pushed Francis away from him.

"Get away from me, Frenchie!"

...and their continous fighting is how Arthur and Francis once again were roughly escourted from the hospital.

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**Sorry for taking so long to update. I didn't have much inspiration for this chapter. If you have any suggestions, why not write them in a review?**

**REEEEEVIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEWWWWW please.**


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